The Independent Woman is a Lie

The Independent Woman has beautiful origins.

Women used to be property, now we can own property.

With “having it all” came the expectation that a woman could break free of the limiting Good Girl archetype of “meek & modest support figure” to become the central protagonist of her own life.

The Independent Woman was at last free to do everything a man could!

climb the corporate ladder, maintain solid relationships and a hot sex life, while still finding time to travel, enjoy hobbies, and look and feel her best – effortlessly.

But the victory of the Independent Woman is bittersweet… in order to have it all, she’s doing it all.

And she’s doing it ALL BY HERSELF.

She is constantly deprived, exhausted, under-nurtured, undernourished–

And never ever gets the opportunity to surrender, receive, be loved and cared for.

True power is not an outcome of independence.

Power is relational – it comes from having strong relationships and phenomenal support within a community.

When the Independent Woman is doing it all so she can have it all, is she really as masterful as she would be if she could ask for the resources and support she needs?

The truth is that nobody ever achieves anything big or meaningful alone.

The overemphasis on independence as a virtue is dangerous, because it downplays the ugly reality of isolation and hides the beauty of the true collaborative process that makes anything great happen.

A powerful woman is not independent in the absolute sense – her power of creation comes from her relationships and her ability to ask them to collaborate on fulfilling her vision.